Kill the Soul or the World
by Refia
Summary: One night, Michiru and Haruka get a strange dream, or is it a nightmare? In it, they are confronted with a painful memory, felings of guilt and shame, and a horrible choice. What option will they chose and will their choice be the right one?


Kill the Soul or the World

Haruka Tenoh woke up, finding herself in a place she did not know or recognize. The sky above the racer was dark and starless, the ground she laid on cold, hard, grey and lifeless. For sure, this was not the same place she had fallen asleep in. Unless her bed had the ability to change into the landscape she currently found herself in. As she slowly and silently sat up, her hand brushed against the form of another figure, placed right next to her. It was a figure she knew all too well. Soft blue hair and an angelic face, who else could the second person be but Michiru Kaioh, her lover and support for such a long time already? Haruka found herself smiling, at least she was not alone. For a moment, the racer wondered if her friend Setsuna Meioh, or her own daughter Hotaru Tomoe were here – wherever here was – as well. She looked around, but saw nobody or nothing, aside from Michiru and herself.

Haruka tenderly shook her partner awake, who was just as startled and confused upon discovering that they no longer were in their own private bedroom, but in a desolate, cold wasteland. They climbed to their feet, looking around in the hope of discovering anything that could explain things to them, or give them a clue of how to get out of here. But they found nothing, they were alone in an empty wasteland where chilling wind blew. There was nothing, not even mountains or hills, no dead trees or any ruins of civilization. Only miles and miles of flat rocky ground, as far as the eye could see.

"How did we get here?" Michiru finally asked, breaking the silence that hung in this eerie place. Haruka shrugged, feeling far more worried than she dared to show.

"Got no clue, maybe Setsuna or Hotaru are just pulling a prank on us?" Somehow, Haruka didn't believe in her own suggestion even for a moment. And by the looks of it, neither did Michiru. The two of them sighed. The blue-haired violinist leaned against the blonde racer for comfort, letting her head rest on Haruka's firm shoulder.

"At least you are here," Michiru said.

Her words made her lover smile, if only for a moment. "Thanks, but let's try to get out of here. I'm worried about our little firefly, and this place gives me the creeps."

Before either of them had set even the smallest step, the wind blew harder for a moment, blowing the dust up in the air and blinding the pair for a while. When the dust had settled on the grey, depressing ground again, the two could see a figure in the distance. Neither Michiru nor Haruka could see if it was a man or a woman, or if it even was human at all, but at least there was _something_ here now, besides themselves. They did not hesitate and ran towards it.

Quite soon they discovered, to their horror, that no matter how fast or how long they ran, the distance between them and the figure didn't get shorter one bit. If it weren't for the fact that the stranger stood completely still, they would have thought that he, she or it was running away from them. But that wasn't the case, the reason was far stranger than that. It was as if the pair was running in place, going neither forward nor backward. Frustrated, Haruka was the first to come to a halt.

"What's up with this place?!" she demanded, her voice filled with frustration and anger. Michiru felt much the same as her lover, even though she didn't show it. They shared a glance, then attempted once more to get closer to the figure. Once again they got nowhere, and this time they gave up much sooner. But at the moment they came to a halt for the second time, something happened.

Around the two lovers, the ground stirred in various places, until it burst open and six disgusting creatures crawled out from the underground. They were fully black, and you could not distinguish any features on them, besides the fact they looked like ants. Only these ants were gigantic, the size of an adult human, or even bigger. Michiru and Haruka looked at each other again, then both nodded. They weren't going to wait for these creatures to prove themselves to be friendly or not - chances for giant ants with snapping mandibles coming at you to be friendly are slim indeed – they were going to act now. They raised their hands.

"Neptune Crystal Power! Make up!"

"Uranus Crystal Power! Make Up!"

There was a flash of light, and the creatures came screeching to a halt, afraid and hurt by the light coming from their meals. And once the light disappeared, Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus stood where Michiru and Haruka had been just a moment ago, and the vile monsters had a much bigger problem than light on their paws now. The ants moved in, but the two Sailor Soldiers were faster and stronger.

"Deep submerge!"

"World shaking!"

Six elemental attacks later, the ants were no more than smudges of black on the grey ground. Satisfied that the danger had passed, the pair lowered their guard slightly. A quick glance ahead of them revealed that the figure they had seen before still stood motionlessly in the distance, watching them from afar. They wanted to try and go to it for a third time, but a familiar voice made them freeze.

"Murderers!"

Uranus and Neptune whirled around and came face to face with a young girl with black hair and purple eyes, that they knew all too well. Shock was evident on the couple's faces. Hotaru Tomoe stood before her 'parents', her eyes expressing pain and betrayal. She stared at the two Sailor Soldiers, her gaze condemning, her frail figure shaking.

"You killed me!" Hotaru cried, tears flowing rapidly down her face. "Why?!"

Her adoptive parents looked at each other, knowing all too well what their child was referring to. Memories of their 'betrayal' flashed before their eyes and they shivered. Still, they were confused too, for Hotaru, and Setsuna, had forgiven them long ago. It had been done to try and save the world, after all. They had no choice but to do what they did.

"You know why, Hotaru-chan," was all Neptune could say, her voice quiet and barely audible. Hotaru's gaze was terrifying as her fury grew. If looks could kill, her parents would have been reduced to ashes in a mere second. The two Sailor Soldiers shrank back.

"I'm your daughter!" the unhappy child said, with more tears running down her face. "What parents kill their own child? Even for the universe? Why not die together then, instead of betraying me? Me and Setsuna-mama…"

Uranus dared to set one step forward, reaching out with a shaking hand to her child. "Hotaru… You and Setsuna both, you, you forgave us already… Please, don't… don't make us feel the shame and guilt all over again." The normally so strong Uranus felt herself break down under her daughter's accusing, furious gaze. Which was strange, as normally she would not. What was wrong with her?

But Hotaru suddenly was gone, and a cold, chilling laugh that sounded like bones cracking drifted towards them on the wind.

"Forgave you?" someone sneered, its voice so horrifying it made the two want to cover their ears. "You wish. You hope. You desire." The speaker laughed again. "Yes… You would love that, wouldn't you? To hear those words 'I forgive you' again, so as to ease the guilt and shame, both of which you rightly deserve to feel."

Once more the two Sailor Soldiers turned around, this time coming face to face with the most hideous, repulsive and horrifying creature they had ever seen. It had a humanoid torso, with short arms and legs of equal length, and wicked spiked blades in the place of hand and feet, on which it walked. The blades serving as hands were so long that the figure was able to stand with a straight back despite being a quadruped. Its head was so indescribably hideous, it could make even the bravest die from fright right there and then. It looked like a human skull, with long sharp teeth in the jaws and red glowing lights serving as eyes. Filthy black hair grew from the skull and slithered down to the figure's shoulders. Jagged, sharp spikes grew out of every of the creature's neck- and backbones, and it also had a thin, long and whip-like tail made of bones. Its was mostly black in colour, but the torso was covered with white plates of bone. The boneblades serving as hands and feet, the hideous head and spikes were white as well, and stained with blood. The whole image of the creature screamed death, and the sound of its voice drained them from any resolve they had, putting despair and hopelessness of such intensity that it was beyond imagination in its place.

The utterly vile being scuttled a bit closer to the pair and smiled, a hideous expression on the monster's face. "You ask her to forgive you? The nerve! What child killed by its own parents, no matter the reason, can truly ever say, from the bottom of their heart: 'I forgive you'? What trust can such a child ever have again? And yet, shamelessly you ask for all of it, as if naught has happened."

"Who… What are you, monster?!" Uranus demanded angrily, choosing to ignore the creature's words for now.

"Monster?" the creature repeated, slowly, as if he was pondering if the term could fit it. Then he laughed again, the sound making the two women want to vomit. "Monster, you say? Yes, yes, I am a monster. A vile and repulsive creature, for sure, yet… I am nothing compared to you both. Despite all I have done, despite how I look, I never took the life of my own child." The chilling red eyes glowed brighter for a moment. "The nerve, Uranus, to call me a monster, after the utterly monstrous crime you have committed! You and your partner both! Killing your own child, in cold blood, for a small chance of saving the world? Tell me, do you truly believe I am the monster here?"

"We had a duty to the universe," Neptune replied, more to convince herself of that than the monster. Her reply only made the monster howl with mocking laughter, making her loose resolve even more. Neptune knew this wasn't her, she didn't act like this at all normally, she did not loose resolve and determination so quickly. But the creature was so repulsive, and its voice so horrible, that it robbed her of all her usual strength, shattering the walls around her mind that her sense of duty had build, leaving her vulnerable.

"Yes, yes, keep telling yourself that, Neptune, you may once believe it yourself! But you both can't hide it, the fact that you're ashamed by yourself, that you broke the trust of them who trusted you, killed them even… Deep inside, you can't deny the truth of my words… You two are the greatest monsters here. And if I were to make you both look on the outside like you are on the inside, you'd look far more repulsive than me."

Uranus clenched her fists, ready to blast the creature to oblivion. Why they were both still listening to it, she did not know. She raised her hand to perform World Shaking, but quickly found herself knocked painfully on her back. The monster hadn't moved.

"You only wish to destroy me, Uranus, to make me stop telling the truth. You want to hide from it, want to ignore it… Do anything but accept it! And I suppose it is understandable… For who but a being of pure evil commits the sin you both committed?" The giant insectoid creep smirked. "It must be so assuring and comforting, I suppose, to say that the universe is worth any sacrifice. That your duty to it comes before your duty to an individual. Ah, what great lies you blind yourself with!"

"Then what should we have done?!" Neptune interrupted, her facial expression betraying that she was ready to burst into tears. "Let the universe die, knowing there might have been a chance for us to save it?!"

The creature nodded. "Yes, that is exactly what you should have done. You would have died then, having not betrayed anyone, least of all yourselves. Think of it, suppose you had won. Suppose your plan had worked, what sort of victory would you have had?" Before either of the two Sailor Soldiers could reply, the monster answered his own question: "One drenched in blood. The blood of your very own child and best friend. And how is that any different from a universe conquered by evil? Evil, or having the blood of your child on your hands, it is the same. You would have saved the universe, yet made it a place not worth saving, for it would have been rescued by murderers, parents without any parental love… A fitting place for creatures such as I, I suppose, but you? Don't make me laugh."

"Don't…" Uranus seethed, her anger having reached its boiling point. "Do not even dare to say we don't love Hotaru or Setsuna, for we do! A monster like you could ever understand! We had to do what we did, and it hurt us!"

"Truly?" the creature snorted. "You killed your own hearts and souls. You both aren't even worthy of saving the universe. You are the lowest of the lowest, the filthiest among the filth, creatures not worth possessing the power they have, not worthy of having the duty they have, not even worthy of living." Its gaze darkened, and made them step back. "Your plan deserved to fail, and you deserved to die the way you did even more, and a hundred times again and even worse!"

"So if you had been in our place, you would have abandoned the universe for the sake of one or two lives?"

"If it meant keeping the trust of my own child, continuing to hold her love and be a true loving and caring parent, then yes," the monster answered. "I could die then with no regrets, knowing I stayed true to myself, and to what is most important: the love of a child for its parents. Dying knowing that you failed your duty, but kept the love of those you care for... Is that not far more beautiful and peaceful than saving the world with the blood of your child on your hands?"

Neither Neptune nor Uranus said anything. Neptune was crying silently by now, while Uranus had lost her will to fight. Perhaps this monster, despite being so monstrous, repulsive, vile and evil, was right, and was indeed better than they were. Hotaru and Setsuna had forgiven them, but had they really? Neither of them would lie about such a thing, that much the two of them knew, but still… At this moment, they didn't feel forgiven at all, and the shame and guilt were stronger than ever. Perhaps the monster was right, and perhaps a death together with Hotaru and Setsuna, without any trust broken or love lost, would have been preferable to the course of action they had taken. Somewhere deep inside, they realized this wasn't them thinking, but simply the power of the creature's voice influencing them, weakening them. But try as they might, they could not shut it out, nor make it stop.

The feeling of having to do their duty still remained inside them, but it was weak and it seemed so cold and empty to them now. Neither of them was used to this, for they had always placed their mission on the first place, duty above everything else. If they had to fight their fellow Sailor Soldiers, sacrifice innocent lives, even their own daughter and friends, so be it. That was their fate. And now, they hated themselves for it. They both remembered their Princess, and how she had triumphed were they had not, and how she had risked the universe just to save one life, Hotaru's. In their eyes, it had always made the Princess look like a fool. But right now, it made the Princess look like an infinitely better person than they could ever even hope to be. Had they been wrong after all? Had their way of doing things been the wrong way in the end? For a mere second, they thought the answer might be yes.

---

Michiru Kaioh woke up, finding herself in a place she did not know or recognize. The sky above the violinist was deep blue and filled with stars, the ground she laid on was covered in lush green grass, and felt very soft. This was certainly not the same place she had fallen asleep in. Unless her bed had the ability to change into the landscape she currently found herself in. As she slowly and silently sat up, her hand brushed against the form of another figure, placed right next to her. It was a figure she knew all too well. Short blonde hair and an angelic face, who else could the second person be but Haruka Tenoh, her lover and support for such a long time already? Michiru found herself smiling, at least she was not alone. For a moment, the violinist wondered if her friend Setsuna Meioh, or her own daughter Hotaru Tomoe were here – wherever here was – as well. She looked around, but saw nobody aside from Haruka and herself.

She stopped herself. This was all too familiar. Hadn't she woken up once before already? And why couldn't she remember falling asleep? The last thing the beautiful woman did remember was a cold, lifeless wasteland and the conversation she and her partner had had with that vile, repulsive, horrifying and wicked creature. Michiru remembered its words all too well, and she shivered, even though it wasn't cold here. This place was a beautiful clearing in an even more beautiful forest. Plants, trees and flowers were all around her. Some of the flowers were even blooming, despite it being night. Where were they, and how had they come here from the wasteland?

Michiru tenderly shook her partner awake, who was just as startled and confused upon discovering that they no longer were in the wasteland, and that the monster was gone with it. Not that either of them found that particular fact regrettable. They climbed to their feet, looking around in the hope of discovering anything that could explain things to them. But they found nothing, they were once again alone, though this time the surroundings were far more pleasant. The pair glanced up at the sky, and above the trees they could see a pillar of crystal that towered over the forest and reached farther than the heavens. It was a sight to behold, for sure.

"Magnificent, is it not?" a voice coming from behind them suddenly said. It was gentle, calming, soothing… it had the feeling of everything that was positive. The voice was the direct opposite to that of the monster from the wasteland, and it was a welcome change. Michiru and Haruka whirled around to find themselves looking at a beautiful person, who could only be described as gloriously divine in appearance. Again, the direct opposite of the monster.

He was a man, or male at least, with long flowing silver hair, fine clothing, sharp blue eyes and an aura of wisdom and understanding around him. He regarded the two women calmly, as if he had been expecting them.

"Who are you?" Haruka demanded, rather brusquely. In all honesty, the racer had had it with waking up in unfamiliar places, be that barren wastelands or beautiful forests. "And where are we?"

"You are in the future of your world," the person replied, ignoring Haruka's first question. "The far future, six thousand years to be exact."

Michiru couldn't help but gasp. "This beautiful place is our future Earth?"

The silver-haired stranger nodded. "Yes. And I see that you are awed by its beauty. It will pain you then, to hear that it might not last for much longer."

Haruka and Michiru shared a confused glance, then looked at the stranger with a gaze that demanded he explain further. The person sighed deeply, the calmness he radiated fading for a moment, to be replaced with an aura of sorrow.

"Even this far in the future, evil exists. And after millennia of peace, its forces have struck our beautiful planet once more. The inhabitants of this world fought bravely, led by the Sailor Scouts, but despite all our efforts, it seems like there will be no salvation this time." After he had spoken these words, he firmly focused his gaze on the two women in front of him. His eyes held something sad, something that implored them to do something. "Which is why you are here… You both fell during the war, but we are faced with a problem now that only the two of you can solve. I was called upon to call you from the past to help us, but unfortunately I made a little mistake and you wound up briefly in an alternate timeline. One were I failed to call you, and the planet was lost."

Horrid realization dawned on the two and they gasped. Haruka's eyes narrowed slightly. "The wasteland… That was Earth?" She already knew the answer, the horrible truth, but a part of her still hoped that this person would deny it. But he didn't, the silver-haired man merely nodded.

"Yes, that was Earth, and it will be our future, unless you come with me and solve the final problem that will save the Earth and the universe!"

Having the weight of the fate of the universe on their shoulders was nothing new to Haruka and Michiru, so upon hearing the words spoken by this divine-looking person, all they said was: "Take us to where you need us."

---

And he did. The stranger, whose name they still did not know and probably never would, guided them through the forest in absolute silence. He seemed to be listening to the sounds of nature around him, as well as their own footsteps. Michiru and Haruka found themselves doing the same, for the beauty and calm of this future Earth silenced them, and every step they took through the forest made them see or hear something new and beautiful. Whatever the problem this world still had was, they would solve it in order to prevent this beautiful planet from turning into the nightmarish world they had visited just before.

For hours they walked, with no word being spoken. Not that it mattered, time seemed to fly as they marched through the breathtaking forest. In fact, when the stranger announced that they had arrived, Haruka and Michiru found themselves wishing that they hadn't just yet, so that they could continue enjoying all of the nature around them. That was not to be, however, as their silver-haired guide drew their attention to where they were right now: at the base of the gigantic crystal pillar they had seen before.

"The last threat to the universe has been locked inside the Crystal Tower," the man said. "It might be dangerous, however, so perhaps should transform."

The words had barely left his mouth when two flashes of light blinded him. When the light subsided again, Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune stood where Haruka and Michiru had been just a moment before. They looked as ready as one could be for facing the unknown. With a satisfied smile, their guide returned his attention to the Crystal Tower. Two enormous gates made of unknown material kept it shut, and many inscriptions in strange languages were made on them. But the silver-haired man paid that all no heed. He had been here many times before, just as he had opened the tower many times already. He placed his hand on the gate, which started to glow with a golden light upon contact, and then the gates swung open smoothly. He mentioned for Uranus and Neptune to follow him.

"Come, we have a long climb ahead of us."

He hadn't been lying when he said that. Uranus and Neptune spent the next few hours following their guide through a complex series of tunnels and long staircases spiralling towards the top of the tower. How their guide did not get lost, they didn't know nor did they really want to find out. For the tower, while being made out of beautiful crystals of all kinds of colours, had a feeling of sadness and death hanging over it, not quite unlike the wasteland from before. A soft blue light illuminated the hallways, but it only strengthened the sorrow that the place awakened in them. Still, the two Sailor Soldiers marched on determinedly. Nothing would stop them from saving this beautiful future, and while the Crystal Tower was a sad place, it didn't tear their resolve to shreds like the monstrous being from the wastelands had.

"Does nobody live here?" Neptune asked at one point. It seemed sort of a waste of space and materials to her, to have this gigantic tower with nothing in it but mazelike halls and spiralling staircases. The silver-haired man chuckled quietly.

"Nobody wants to live here. The doom of the world is kept in here, after all," he replied with a sad smile. But he said no more and continued on his way, the two women following him still.

By now, Uranus was beginning to wonder what exactly this doom of the world was, and why they were the only ones capable of stopping it. If they had already been slain in this age, didn't it mean they weren't as capable as everyone thought? The soldier shook her head quickly, pushing away such thoughts. Ridiculous. This place was getting to her, probably because her mental defences were still being rebuilt after the wasteland encounter. She threw a quick glance at Sailor Neptune next to her. Judging from the expression in her face, Uranus guessed that her partner had had similar thoughts at one point.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity of walking through the eerily quiet, empty and sad maze, they arrived at another pair of gigantic gates. For the last time, their guide turned to address them.

"We have arrived. Behind these doors, we keep the doom of the world. You must destroy it, if this world is to survive…"

After opening the door by placing his hand on it, the stranger let Uranus and Neptune go inside. The two Sailor Soldiers marched in, confident and determined, ready for anything that was coming…

Except for what they found inside.

An enormous, round chamber, empty except for the bed in its centre. The sadness that they had felt in the tower before, only became stronger here. The blue light seemed more depressing than ever, and they suddenly felt cold, even though it was reasonably warm inside the tower. But it was nothing of that that shocked them and froze them on the spot. No, it was the person sitting on the bed, looking up as soon as she had heard the doors open. She had fine, short black hair and purple eyes filled with all the sadness of the universe. The girl looked at the two Sailor Soldiers, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Michiru-mama? Haruka-papa?!"

Uranus and Neptune's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets and their jaws almost literally hit the floor. Truly, they had been prepared for everything, except for seeing their own daughter here in this place.

"Hotaru-chan?!" they said at the same time, surprised, shocked, amazed… And horrified. For the stranger had said the doom of the world inside this chamber, and unless the bed contained the ultimate evil, his words could only mean that… Despite herself, Neptune clasped her hand before her mouth. It couldn't be… could it?

The girl was indeed Hotaru Tomoe, Sailor Saturn, Soldier of Ruin, and adopted daughter of Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh. Upon seeing her parents, she was filled with incredible joy, joy she hadn't felt since she had been sealed inside this room. She didn't care that she knew her parents were dead, the sheer joy of seeing friendly faces again made her forget all that. Hotaru jumped off the bed and rushed towards her parents. Out of pure instinct, Neptune caught the girl as she flew into her arms.

"Michiru-mama…" the unfortunate girl whispered, burying her face in her mother's embrace, silent tears running down her face. Years of imprisonment and solitude had taken their toll on the young Sailor Soldier, and that all came out now. Despite herself, despite her mind screaming that this was the doom of the world, Neptune gently held the girl, her daughter, her child. And she wasn't the only one, as Uranus too, forgot her duty and placed a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Hotaru-chan…" Uranus began quietly. Like Michiru, she had understood right away what Hotaru's presence here meant. But regardless of that, the otherwise so practical and cold warrior found herself asking: "What are you doing here, firefly?"

Before her daughter could answer, the calm voice of the silver-haired man reached the family's ears. "She is the doom of the world. You must kill her, or abandon this world to a fate worse than death."

Hotaru gasped, and looked up to the faces of her parents, eyes wide with shock. Before either parent could react, the girl had freed herself from Neptune's embrace and staggered back, the shock never leaving her face, her eyes looking at them pleadingly. Uranus turned to their silver-haired companion, a doubtful look crossing her face.

"Tell me, how exactly is Hotaru a threat to this world?"

The man sighed. "She is the warrior of ruin. The evil desires her powers. It is trying to lure her into the shadows, posses her, corrupt her, use her. It will never stop its attempts to do so. Should Hotaru set but a step outside, she'd be possessed instantly. Only in this tower," he gestured to the walls of crystal, "is she safe for now. But it will not last. Evil will breach these walls and claim Sailor Saturn as their own, and the world will be doomed. There is no choice… She has to die, and you both are the only ones left capable of doing it…"

"Is there no other way?" Sailor Neptune demanded sharply, her gaze never leaving her daughter's frightened, pleading eyes. "Can we not vanquish the evil, or keep protecting Hotaru?"

"Do you think we have not tried?" came the sad reply. "Your Princess tried, and failed. The others tried and failed. Do you know how many lives were lost just to build this tower? The peace we have now is so fragile, and once this last defence is overcome, it shall be shattered by Saturn's power, never to be whole again." The stranger sighed, his eyes containing honest regret. "I wish it could be otherwise… But she has to die. What is one more life, for the sake of the universe?"

As much as it pained her, those words rang well with Uranus. They were logical, and contained much truth. This paradise could be saved, if but one sacrifice was made. There was no choice indeed. Yet, as the Sailor Soldier turned to face Hotaru and her partner again, she found herself hesitating. Images of the wasteland flashed before her mind. Uranus clenched her jaw. No, this world could not be allowed to become like that. But then she saw those eyes of her daughter, pleading, begging to be like a parent should be: loving, caring for her child… Uranus looked away.

Slowly, as if she moved against her own will, her hand crept to the hilt of her sword. The Sailor soldier caught the gaze of her partner, who looked as if she had mauled it all over in her head and come to the same conclusion as Uranus.

Closing her eyes, Neptune let out a barely audible sigh, and subtly nodded to Uranus. Then the blue-haired warrior approached her daughter slowly, her hands held out invitingly. Her young daughter seemed hesitant and unsure, her gaze darting from her mother to her papa, uncertain of it all. Should she run, or not? Neptune took advantage of Hotaru's hesitation to cross the distance between themselves, and before Hotaru could react, she found herself in the warm embrace of her mama. She purple-eyed girl smiled, and buried her face once more in her mother's embrace.

"Michiru-mama," was all she said. The girl sounded so loving, so trusting, that it almost made Neptune and Uranus' resolve waver. Almost.

Still hugging her child, Neptune made eye contact with her lover, and gave her another subtle nod. Uranus understood the signal and unsheathed her sword as she slowly made her way over to the mother and the child. Hotaru had heard the sound of the sword being drawn, and tried to see what was going on, but her mother held her tightly, warmly, lovingly… Despite herself, Neptune could feel the tears welling up. Why was she so weak? It had to be done, there was no other way. They could not give up the world, the universe, not for just one life… It was their duty.

Uranus thought much the same, but it didn't make her feel any better. She caught the hand holding the sword trembling, and furiously willed it to stop, which it barely did. She looked at her Hotaru-chan again, and wondered if there wasn't another way… Clenching her jaw, Uranus pushed the thought away. She had no choice. The stranger was right, the world was too important. Her hand firmly clutched her sword, and she approached her child.

"_Murderers!" _

The voice echoed through both their memories at the same time, images of Hotaru with a tear-stained face glaring at them furiously, shouting the word that cut deep into their hearts. Uranus closed her eyes, desperately trying to forget…

"_What parents kill their own child?"_

The image of the horrible monster welled up in their memory. The entire conversation they had had with the repulsive creature replaying itself over and over again in their minds. And the horrible truth, that if they went through with this, they would be far worse than the creature could ever be. The sword fell on the ground and broke the silence. Uranus fell to her knees, staring weakly at her trembling hands.

"I… I can't…"

A flash of light, and then Sailor Uranus was gone. In her place sat a shaken Haruka Tenoh, tears running down her face. Tears of shame, guilt and regret. Another flash of light, and Sailor Neptune had disappeared as well, leaving a just as emotionally shaken Michiru Kaioh in her place. She tightened her embrace with Hotaru, not caring that she had just given up the world for her child. She would not betray her daughter again, not today, and she refused to become the monster from the wastelands.

Haruka came up to the two, and threw her arms around her child as well, silent tears still running freely over her cheeks and dripping on the crystal floor. Hotaru looked, slightly startled at first, to her Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa, then simply allowed herself to be hugged to death.

"I am so, so sorry, Hotaru…" Haruka whispered, almost bitterly. "Please, if you can, forgive me…"

The purple-eyed girl felt touched, and threw her arms around the neck of her papa. "There is nothing to forgive. I love you, Haruka-papa."

Haruka smiled tearfully, relieved and joyful, but she said nothing and the tears kept coming. Michiru, too, was speechless, content with just keeping Hotaru pressed to herself. The beautiful family moment was not to last, however, as the three heard footsteps slowly coming their way. In the confusion and sadness, they had forgotten for a moment that they weren't the only ones in the room, and now the silver-haired stranger was coming their way, his face expressionless and his eyes betraying nothing. Instinctively, Haruka placed herself protectively in front of her lover and her daughter. The silver-haired man smiled.

"Peace, Haruka Tenoh," he said calmly, his voice containing but a hint of sadness. It was as if he didn't mind at all that the two Sailor Soldiers had just doomed the world. "You made the right choice."

Those certainly weren't the words they had been expecting. Michiru and Haruka gave each other a confused glance, then focused their attention on the stranger, their gaze demanding him to explain. The silver-haired man almost laughed upon seeing their confusion.

"Did the wasteland teach you nothing?" he asked, slightly amused. "Sometimes, it is better to let the world die, then to save it by drenching it in blood." He closed his eyes and bowed his head. "This never was about saving the world. It was far simpler than that, a mere question of: what will you kill? Your soul, or the world? You chose the world, and that was how it should be. I am pleased, Sailor Soldiers."

Once more, Haruka and Michiru exchanged confused glances. Just what was their former guide talking about? The more they thought about it, the less sense it made to them. Who would be happy with their choice of letting the world die because they were weak? Again, the man laughed as he saw their faces.

"You still do not get it, do you, Michiru Kaioh, Haruka Tenoh?" The man gestured to the world around them. "This isn't real. It is all but a dream, its strings pulled by me as I tried to find something out…"

He had barely finished saying it when everything began to fade. Hotaru disappeared first, then the walls of crystal, the forest below, then the world and sky. All that remained were the two of them standing in absolute nothingness, the voice of the strange man now coming from all directions at once.

"In battle, it is not always right to put duty before your comrades and brothers in arms. Sometimes, you mustn't be so willing to do whatever it takes, to make whatever sacrifice is needed… Every life is precious, those of your friends and family most of all. Don't be so quick to throw them away for the greater good…"

The man stood before them again all of a sudden, but not for long, as he started to change in hideous ways before the two speechless women. His fair and divine appearance made m\way for the most repulsive and horrifying face and body, the one they had seen once before. His aura of calmness vanished, replaced by an aura that screamed death. The voice of the divine man changed, until it was no longer heavenly, but sounded horrid and similar to the cracking of bones.

"I made that mistake once," the vile creature from the wastelands said. "I took the lives of my friends in an attempt to defeat evil. And I failed, like you did. And look at what I have become…" The monster sighed and shook his nightmare-evoking head. "When you have friends fighting at your side, treasure them… Don't ever throw their lives away. Fight with them, die with them if you must…"

The last part of the dream, the nightmarish creature, now faded from view too. But a voice still could be heard, one that sounded like a combination of the monster's voice and the silver-haired man's.

"My master will soon need righteous warriors. Fighters who die at the side of their friends rather than betray them for a chance at victory… My young lord will need parents who would rather kill themselves than their child… I have tested you, and you have passed." There was a short pause, but then the voice continued: "I implore you, Sailor Neptune, Sailor Uranus, that when the time comes that we need your help, you shall remember what you have learned in this dream… Please, do not forget…"

---

Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh sat up with a start at the same time as they brusquely awoke from their shared dream. Both women were panting and drenched in sweat, and they remembered all that had happened in their sleep, lively and vividly. For a long moment, the two lovers were silent, simply sitting there and catching their breath, recovering from the entire ordeal that the dream had been. There was no need to talk about it anyway, the meaning of the dream – or was it a nightmare? – was all too clear, and it had left a deep impression in the souls of the two, whether they liked it or not.

Then, it seemed that Michiru and Haruka reached a silent agreement. They climbed out of their bed and tiptoed out of the dark room, walking through the quiet hall of their house until they reached the door of their daughter's room. As slowly and quietly as possible, Michiru opened it, just enough for the two parents to peer through the opening and see their child.

Hotaru Tomoe was sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of what was going on at the moment, or what her parents had just experienced. A dreamy smile decorated her face, melting the hearts of the two women who cared so much for her.

"Never again…" Michiru whispered, her voice hard and determined. Haruka merely nodded in agreement, and that was all that had to be said. The blue-haired woman closed the door of Hotaru's bedroom, then walked back to her own, arm in arm with her blonde lover. They had to catch some sleep.

The End.

---

**Did I mention how much I despise Haruka and Michiru or killing Hotaru and Setsuna in the anime? If it weren't for that, they'd be some of my favourite anime characters ever (a canon lesbian couple? I'm impressed). But alas, they killed Hotaru, and that doesn't sit well with me. And thus, I wrote this fic. Any comments?**


End file.
